He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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