not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
