My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
