you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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