If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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