I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
