and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
