Porn is love you can see.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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