no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
