My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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