Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize