the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
