Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
