Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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