I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
