U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
