It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
