Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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