Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
