Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
