the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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