Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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