dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
