I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
