i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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