She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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