i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
