Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
