You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize