you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
