I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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