so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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