I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
