What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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