So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
