walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
