New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
