my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
