I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
