Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
