Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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