i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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