He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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