I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
