Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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