dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
