Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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