when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
