I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
