I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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