she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize