At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
