i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
