He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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