I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
