He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
