Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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