My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize