she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
