My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
