going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
