Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
