If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
