Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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