No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have fence marks all over my body
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
