I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
