I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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