he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
